December 27, 2007

getting closer, maybe.


his camera whirred. he twisted the lens, focusing, and fired off a few more snaps. when he finished the roll, he took the camera off his eyes, and carefully switched to a fresh roll.

wiseguy was taking pictures of flowers around his college campus. it wasn't really an assignment; he was just bored as class got canceled earlier in the day, and instead of going home he decided to get some rolls of film and take pictures around the campus. he thought of taking pictures of people, then decided against it. flowers and plants got the pick instead.

so far he's finished about 2 rolls of film. he had another 3, including the one he had just put it in the Canon Eos 3000V. he slung his bagpack around, looked at the flower plants in front of him, shook his head, and walked away to find other flower plants.

"oh shit", he exclaimed as he tripped over the drain he was stepping over and fell. his bag slung over in front of him, and it's contents were spilled: the extra 2 rolls of film, paperwork, stationery and a packet of skittles.

his knees slammed on the hard cement. it must have looked odd, because as his knees fell on the cement, he put his left hand in front to stop the fall, but his right hand was held high, holding the camera. he stayed that way for about 5 seconds, finding balance. he finally got up. some of the people around him laughed, some just stared for a few moments, lost interest and walked away.

as he stood back up straight and took a breathe, he looked at the things that fell out of his bag. he muttered something under his breath and squatted down to pick them up.

"are you so poor you pick things of the sidewalk now?", a voice called out. a familiar voice. a much loved voice.

wiseguy looked up to see sugar and tingles standing. tingles was hiding a laugh.

"ha ha. very funny. i tripped..", he said.

"tripped, stumbled and fell?", sugar said. she smiled and got down to help pick up the rest of the stuff.

"thanks", wiseguy said. he made jokes as they picked the stuff up and sugar laughed sweetly. then it happened that they reached for the same roll of film; their hands touched. there was a moment of sudden electricity that raced up through both of them. in that instant their eyes locked and the world seemed to slow down. wiseguy looked at sugar. sugar looked back at wiseguy.

do you know that i honestly love you? he thought.

do you know how i wish you'd tell me you love me? she thought.

sugar suddenly blushed furiously, and wiseguy tore his gaze away. and just as sudden as it came, the moment went away. they got up, smiled awkwardly and went their own ways.


"what in the world happened to you?", tingles asked sugar as they walked to sugar's car in the parking lot of the campus.

sugar acted indifferent. "what do you mean what happened? nothing happened."

"ehh babe. i nampak okay? your hands touched and you like, froze. and turned into a tomato, haha!", tingles teased.

"it was nothing lah. and don't call me tomato!", sugar pinched her best friend on the arm. tingles exlaimed in pain and rubbed her arm, but she was still smiling. they got into sugar's car and prepared to leave. but just before driving off, sugar turned to tingles.

"did you see the way he looked at me?"

tingles winked an eye at sugar. "yups. i saw. and i think you're right about him."

sugar nodded thoughtfully. the way wiseguy looked at her was.. different. it had depth. a controlled emotion. it wasn't fake, no. but it had meaning, no matter how weird that sounded.

"still", tingles said, "why do you think he hasn't really told you anything yet?"

sugar rolled her eyes. "duh kau ni. ARROWS. he obviously still thinks arrows and i are still going out. which is technically correct la kan.."

"so.. are you gonna break it off with arrows?"

"well..", sugar's shoulders slumped. "i guess i'm gonna have to. it's not like we're going anywhere.. and i don't love him.."

"hmm hmm... anything that makes you happy babe. and i gotta admit wiseguy's looking rather hot lately..", tingles said with a twinkle in her eye. sugar raised an eyebrow at her.

"oi. hands off. bukan ke you want redfoot? stay off wiseguy okayy?". the girls laughed as sugar finally gunned her engine and drove off. sugar sent tingles back home. as she got out, tingles asked sugar this:

"you're really serious aren't you? about wiseguy", she said.

sugar bit her lower lip and nodded. "yeah. i am."

tingles looked at sugar deeply, feeling a love for her best friend.

"okay then gadis gula-gula. i got your back okay?", tingles said, and sugar smiled warmly at those words. they bid their goodbyes and sugar went back home. she thought about her next step: she has to break the news to arrows. not about wiseguy, of course. at least not yet. but she knew she would have to tell arrows that she feels that they're going nowhere, and hope that it'll go down well. she thought about what to say, quietly as she drove back home.


wiseguy had also gone straight home after that encounter. he had intended to go to the college's darkroom to process his rolls of film, but had suddenly found out that he wasn't in the mood. so yes, he had went straight home. in an attempt to distract himself, he played games on the PS2, surfed the net, watched dvds, read magazines. but still he thought about the moment that his hands had touched sugar's, and how they had shared a look electric. finally, feeling restless, he called up cookie.

"heyy wiseguyyy. ape pulakk? miss me la tu, haha..", cookie said immediately upon answering the phone.

"yeahh..", he smiled in spite himself. "yeah i miss you. eh you free or not? got time to chat?"

"yeah i'm free. i'm at home. so whassup..?"

"the coolest thing happened today..", wiseguy said as he began telling cookie about what had transpired earlier in the day. when he finished, cookie laughed.

"oi what's funny?", he asked his best friend.

"you are! haha. no la. that was sweet. but you still haven't told her ye?", cookie said.

"uhm, no. i haven't had the time to. or i haven't had the chance. pick one excuse. haha."

"hee. you don't have to make excuses la dear. i guess i can understand. but you will tell her kan?"

"i.. yes. no. i don't know... she's still with that arrows guy. i don't wanna come across as a third wheel you know?"

"yeeeeaaa... but you gotta take the shot before it's too late tau? who knows; maybe the greatest thing will happen."

"you sound confident for someone without a boyfriend you know?", wiseguy teased.

"hoi! haha. fine. but i'm only saying that, if you don't take a shot, you don't wanna spend the rest of your days wondering what it would have been like, kann? so you have to, for better or for worse.."

wiseguy nodded and said "yeah..". they continued chatting on the phone, catching up with each other. wiseguy asked cookie about that jumpers guy; cookie said they went out, but then that was it. they didn't follow up. are you okay with it, wiseguy asked. yeah, turns out he's not really my type anyway, cookie had said. they talked some more and agreed to meet up for drinks and lunch again sometime in the coming week. finally wiseguy said thanks and bye bye and promised cookie that he'll tell sugar how he feels.

he hung up and tossed the phone on his bed. he sat at his desk and reclined his chair, putting his hands behind his head and stared up the ceiling. how can he tell sugar how he feels? just tell her! another voice inside his head said. he thought about it. isn't it as simple as saying 'sugar i love you'? it was... and yet it was also complicated. how, he couldn't explain. maybe it was simply the fear of rejection.. or the fear of a crushed dream?

he thought again of that dream he had had. he still remembered it clearly. in those dreams it was simple and beautiful to have been able to say 'i love you' to sugar. but wasn't that because it was an alternate her? wiseguy shook his head. adoi, he thought. words don't come so easily after all

in the end he fell asleep at his desk, not aware that somewhere else, sugar was thinking about him, and hoping for his words.


December 21, 2007

sugar & wiseguy, of one mind


it's about 1923hrs and outside the rain was falling down. the flash of lightning and the rumble of thunder streaked and echoed in the skies. i was in my room, cleaning my camera. then i flicked my camera to 'on', i pressed the review button and scanned through the images on my memory card until i found the one i was looking for. i've uploaded this one, i thought. i've uploaded a few pictures of her on flickR. i didn't know exactly why; from a photo student point of view, i guess to me they were just good pictures of an equally good looking (involuntary) model. i had taken those pictures without her knowing. it's not like i'm voyeuristic; it's just that, when the light strikes her eyes and face at just the right angle.. she turns from being pretty into simply beautiful..

.. but then again of course i'd say that, after all. i looked at the pictures on the camera again, smiled. i sighed and looked out the window, and not for the first time i found myself wondering


if he was thinking of me? if he really meant what he said on that 'prank', of he course he would be right? but maybe i'm doing a bit too much wishful thinking. i don't know for sure, do i? after all, he said it was a prank. and him being him.. it may well have could be. but still..

what about those pictures? the way they were taken, and the way he seems almost.. almost reverent in the way he never captioned them. but most of all it's those stolen glances he gives me whenever he thinks i'm not looking. oh god, this is so perplexing. i wish i could just ask him. but what would i say? and what would it look like if i did? he knows i'm with arrows.. but maybe that's gonna change. i don't want to make a fool out of myself if it turns out it was a prank after all.

i lay down on my bed and hugged my Hello Kitty plush toy tight. beside me was my diary and sketchbook; inside the diary were my jottings, which, of late, have often been about.. him. and in the sketchbook were drawings of.. him. oh i miss him..! i wish i could tell him that. maybe if i did he'd open up and tell me the truth. maybe he'd tell me how he really feels


about her. these feelings have been growing. i think ever since that prank i haven't been talking much to her. it's kinda sad in a way. but ever since i almost blew my cover i've been.. somewhat avoiding her to a certaint extent. we still talk and joke but it's lessened. the only explanation i can give is that i'm afraid that my words would slip. i do not want to interfere with her life, because, to me at least, her life is going on just as fine as butter.

everytime i pass her by, or talk to her, or see her, in college, i get these odd palpitations of the heart, and i feel a dull, aching throb within me. she takes my breathe away. everything about her. her looks, her wit, her personality. call me cliche, call me predictable, but in the end what else would so attract me to her?

still holding the camera, i flicked it off. i thought of maybe sending her a text message, or even a call, just to say hi. but i decided against it. i'd freeze; i just knew i would. i guess outside, in college, i have the protection and fallback of the other friends to depend on. but not when i'm alone. i would have nothing to say.. nothing except


i love you. i wish i could hear those words coming from him right now. i just want to know, and i just want to be sure. those words would make the happiest girl alive. i may not be fully there yet, but as surely as the tide rushes to shore, i know in my heart that i am falling in love with him. maybe it's been his rather uncharacteristic quietness lately that has ignited a fire within me. maybe it's the simple fact that i find myself missing him so much. whatever; i know i'm falling in love with him.

but i don't want to end up a broken hearted fool. that's why i have to know whether or not he really meant it. all the signs point to a big, reassuring YES but the only way i can know for sure is if i can hear it come out of his own mouth; in his own voice and from his own heart. i scribbled my name and his in my diary for probably the hundredth. i cupped my chin in my hands and thought how


i could have fallen in love in the first place? was it


his smile? the way he speaks to me? or maybe


it was in the way she always laughs at the things i joke about? whatever.. she is so beautiful to me. i wish i can tell__


him that i feel like i wanna hold his hands, and


maybe play around with her fingers before i could look into her eyes and say


i love you/i love you.


December 17, 2007

over chocolate cake, with tingles

sugar brought the chocolate marshmallow cake to the table with two forks, although she knew tingles wouldn't want a piece. still, common courtesy right? tingles eyed the cake with a mix of amazement and jealousy; it was a huge piece which looked absolutely delicious. sugar sat the cake down on the table and took a seat herself.

"i can't believe you can eat that without getting sick.. or fat!", tingles said.

sugar smiled at her best friend and took a big bite of the cake. tingles just shook her head.

"you want some?", sugar asked.

"no..! you're only asking me that because you know i'd say no!", tingles laughed. sugar smiled through a mouthful of cake. they were at a Secret Recipe cafe somewhere in KL. their class finished about an hour ago, and with plenty of time to spare and no work to do, the both of them decided to go window shopping.. and maybe gossip.

the girls talked about everything: shoes, celebrities, tv shows, food.. and of course boys. tingles had a crush on one of their classmates, a tall guy called redfoot because he wore red shoes everywhere he went although it clashed with everything else he had on. but, the girls supposed, guys don't really care about how their apparels match. tingles gabbed and yabbed about how cute redfoot is, and how cool it is that he simply didn't give a darn about what people say about his shoes. sugar listened with all the attentiveness and interest of a best friend who cared about her best friends. she didn't ignore her cake though.

"so are you gonna ask him out..?", sugar said as she finished her cake and wiped her mouth with a serviette.

tingles grimaced. "do you think i should?"

sugar shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "why not?"

tingles bit her lower lip, as if deep in thought. then she leaned on the table and said, "what if that's like, being way to obvious that i like him?"

sugar looked at her friend, who had dark brown eyes and wavy locks of black hair.

"then", sugar said. "takpe lah. memang you like him, duh."

"i knowww.. but you know what i mean even if you're pretending that you don't know that you know what i mean..", tingles said.

"wha--?", sugar hung her mouth agape. then both of them broke into laughter. tingles looked behind sugar and tipped her chin in that direction.

"sugar, the counter-guy is eyeballing you.."

sugar squinted, her glasses falling down on her nose a bit. eeew, she motioned. the counter guy was an obvious mat rempit who looked... well, not to be mean, but he looked like he got the bad end of a beating with the ugly stick... probably after falling off the ugly tree. the rempit-ness of him made it worse. tingles smiled as sugar made a sick face.

"he can eye-ball me all he wants. i'm not interested..~", sugar said.

tingles was quiet for awhile and stared at sugar. the quiet suddenly seemed a bit too long.

"what?", sugar asked, smiling. "is the counter guy doing something?"

"i just realized", tingles said, "that we're here talking and maybe shopping later on.."


"where's arrows?"

the question hit sugar hard. she knew why tingles asked though. normally she'd be with arrows after classes ended. they'd go for coffee or a movie or something. but things were... how should she say it? a bit different lately.

this time sugar went silent. her lips tightened. she picked up her fork and began making weird patterns out of chocolate cream on her now empty plate.

"hello..?", tingles urged, but gently. sugar sighed, and put down her fork. she rested her back on the chair.

"i don't know..", sugar said. tingles looked puzzled.

"you don't know where arrows is, or 'you don't know'"?

"i mean, 'i don't know'.."

tingles raised her eyebrows. she shifted her seat closer to the table.

"babe, what's wrong?", she asked sugar.

"again, i don't know.. or maybe i do, but i just don't wanna admit it..", sugar answered. they were both quiet for awhile.

"you know.. come to think of it, i haven't seen you guys hanging around together that much, these past few weeks or months or so..", tingles finally said.

sugar rolled her eyes and made a shooting gesture with her hands. got that right, she thought. she hasn't been spending much time with arrows recently. they talk on the phone, and they IM each other on a somewhat regular basis. but something was missing. or maybe everything was? she thought.

"babe, you've guys been together for almost half a year now right? what's going on?", tingles said. "are you guys still steady or what..?"

"we're..." sugar said, but paused. we're what? she thought. she gathered her thoughts. finally she came up with this to say:

"you know.. when i first got together with arrows, everyone was saying 'whoaa there goes the couple of the year' blah blah, so it was kinda exciting. i mean, he really was the hottest guy in college, and i did kinda like have a small crush on him.. i mean, look at him: handsome, popular, smart, athletic.. the archetypical hottie, you know?"

tingles nodded.

"so it was flattering, and sweet, when he came to me and asked for my hand to be his girlfriend. me, Evie Nadia, who ate too much and always had something to say about something. he could have had any girl he wanted, but he chose me. so i was crazy excited and said yesss!

'it was almost fairy-tale like in the beginning. he treated me like a princess, and i guess i could say i was happy. yeaa, i was. i took pictures of him, i took pictures with him and put it on myspace and friendster and all that. i was almost bragging about how the college IT boy chose me.... but now.. now..."

sugar's voice faltered. it was tingles who finished for her.

"now you realize that you didn't be with him out of love, even if you were happy.. and realizing that made you realize that..", tingles let the sentence hang.

sugar nodded gently and pushed her glasses up her nose. she blew a strand of hair that fell on her face.

"i realized that i didn't love him..." sugar said. "and i don't love him.."


the girls ended up not going anywhere else that day. they just sat there and talked. sugar told tingles everything about her and arrows, and how they were kinda falling apart. maybe they really didn't suit each other after all, sugar said. tingles agreed. but tingles also suspected another truth. and she wanted to know before the day was over. sugar hasn't mentioned anything to her since that sudden question when she had come to pick her up to go jalan-jalan, but tingles knew it was on sugar's mind. so she thought she ought to ask about it.

"are you thinking about wiseguy?", tingles asked out of a sudden.

sugar went quiet. her cheeks flushed red. tingles eyes widened and she smiled excitedly.

"oh you are??"

sugar smiled meekly, picked up her fork and made stabbing gestures at tingles. but she suddenly felt relieved.

"tingles.. remember that day in the cafe? that 'prank'?", sugar said. "i think he meant it"

"maybe. i remember him asking me to buzz off for awhile, ehehe. but if it was a prank, only he could pull off something like that. you gave him the name 'wiseguy' for a reason..", tingles said.

sugar nodded. "there was something i saw in his eyes when all of us left that day that made me suspect.."

"are you sure?"

sugar sighed. "have you noticed.. ever since that day he's been rather quiet with me? we still joke around or verbally spar, but there's something.. missing.."

tingles nodded. "he hasn't been around much has he?"

"yeah..", sugar said. "and i miss him.."

tingles smiled at her best friend. so that was it. sugar misses wiseguy. tingles wondered, if wiseguy was indeed actually in love with sugar, if he was missing sugar as well. suddenly tingles' heart reached out to wiseguy. what sugar was saying was totally feasible. tingles thought of wiseguy; laid-back, funny.. he's cool. and now, thinking of it, tingles also realized how quieter than usual he's been around them.. and especially around sugar. before, they used to argue and take playful shots at each other constantly. but not recently.

"if it makes you feel any better..", tingles said, "i think.. yeah, i think he is in love with you.."

"thanks", sugar smiled. then she told tingles about how she had looked at wiseguy's flickR page and saw those potraits of her. that night, she had paced her room to and fro. she kept going back to his flickR page, and had kept attempting to call him only to end the calls before they got through. she had finally fallen asleep at her desk, her browser still on wiseguy's flickR page. by that time she had quit her pacing... but he had lingered in her mind.

"do you really miss him, babe?", tingles asked gently.

"i do." sugar answered, softly but with confidence. tingles felt proud all of a sudden. an odd feeling, but also oddly a right feeling. tingles knew what to ask next.

"are you falling in love with him..?"

sugar looked at tingles. but her mind was elsewhere; her mind was on wiseguy. scruffy wiseguy whose hair always looked as if he had just gotten up from a nap; wiseguy who carries some sort of photo-taking device with him wherever he went. she thought of how, despite their playful banter and sparring, he was always nice to her and sweet to her. how he has never said a bad thing about her, or to her. and recently, how he steals glances at her when he thinks she doesn't know.. and how, somehow, in the back of her own mind, she imagines that a pained sigh always accompanies those stolen glances. she thought of wiseguy. the way he smiled. talked. the way he had taken those portraits of her and made her look beautiful. why was that? but the answer came straight away: because she is beautiful to him.

"oi makcik... i asked you a question", tingles said, snapping her back to the present. "are you falling in love with wiseguy..?"

sugar took a deep breath. tingles raised her eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

"i won't say...", sugar said. tingles looked somewhat disappointed. but then sugar smiled and blushed and said:

" out loud to anyone other than you, yet. i think i am. i just can't stop thinking about wiseguy.."


December 13, 2007

sugar goes online

sugar sat at her study desk, absently surfing the net on her pink vaio. saturday evening and she had nothing to do. she sighed. well, at least it's not really a good day to go out anyway, she thought. tingles was home sick nursing the flu, and the other girlfriends had prior engagements anyways. she had just gotten off the phone with arrows. he had some of his guys at home, watching, what else, football. sugar didn't like the way the phone call had gone.

"hey dearie.. whats up?", she had said.

"hello.. hey, i'm kinda occupied. the guys are here, you know", arrows said.

"i know.. i just thought i'd say hi.. can't a girl to that anymore?"

"of course, i didn't mean it that way. but maybe i'll give you a call later yeah sugar?"

she had paused and bit her lip. she wasn't really hurt, but she felt annoyed. and annoying. but she had dismissed the thought.

"okay, alright. say hi to the guys for me", she had finally said.

"alright, bye sugar..", arrows said curtly.


"hm yeah?"

"... nothing.."

they then said their goodbyes. she had meant to say 'i love you' but had hesitated. that was a first. she wondered why.

isn't it obvious?, a voice at the back of her mind whispered.

sugar snapped her mind back to the present. she was looking at clothes at various online stores, wishing she had lots and lots of money to actually buy them instead of just looking. finally she quit that, and went downstairs for a snack. her mama was at the dining table, reading a Jane Austen novel.

"mama is there anything to eat?", sugar asked her mama, who worked as a HR manager at a 5-star hotel in Kuala Lumpur.

"eat eat eat. that's all you do. haih. lucky you never get fat. you're just like your papa, you know that?", her mama replied without taking her eyes off the novel. sugar's papa was a retired army major.

"heee.", sugar grinned and took a seat next to her mama. "you're reading Jane Austen again."

with her eyes still on the book, her mama smiled and replied, "i love Jane Austen. so let me be. go find yourself a snack. jangan kacau mama.."

sugar smiled and poked her mama at the sides, causing her to jump a little. sugar threw her head back and laughed. she went into the kitchen, and browsed the fridge. she made herself a crabstick sandwich, complete with salad and dressing, and also took out a pack of chocolate pudding. she made herself an iced tea and took all those upstairs to her room. mama shook her head, smiling , looking at the snack her one and only child had made.

"don't mess up your room..", mama called out as sugar reached the top of the stairs.

"no promises!", sugar playfully called back.

sugar brought her snacks to her study desk and ate it enthusiastically whilst watching an episode of 'Friends' she had on her laptop. after the crabstick sandwich she had the pudding; and finally she washed it all down with the iced tea and burped gently and softly against the back of her hand. she loved eating. she would probably have a big dinner tonight, even after an already sizeable sandwich. she didn't care.

she finished watching the show and quit her media player. she found herself bored again and opened her internet browser. she punched the keyboard and went straight to her social network site. she browsed through her friends' profiles, leaving messages and comments here and there. then she looked at her own profile, along with arrows' profile. it was somewhat depressing for her. she didn't really know why, although maybe she did but didn't want to admit it.

her primary picture was of her and arrows' side by side. it was taken a few months ago, when they had first started going out with each other. just a few months ago? she thought sadly. she switched her tab to arrows' profile. there wasn't a single picture of them together. it wasn't that important, she knew, but it somehow upset her. she sighed, not really caring anymore. she went back to her friends list. she clicked on wiseguy's profile.

it was minimalist, in plain black and white. wiseguy had put only one picture of himself; even then it was a profile view, with a camera held up to his face. sugar looked through the details. wiseguy didn't tell much; hobbies, favorite books and movies. that was all. she suddenly felt disappointed. perhaps she had expected more, knowing wiseguy to be quite talkative and funny(...although he has been quiet-ish recently).

she finally saw a link to a photography site and clicked on that. it was wiseguy's flickR page. he had some photosets; she browsed through the pictures. they were beautiful. one set was of plants and flowers; another showed various spots in KL taken at night. to her non-photographer's eyes, they all seemed incredibly professional. she clicked through the photo sets, and finally stumbled upon a few pictures that made her hold her breath.

the pictures were of her. it wasn't creepy or voyeuristic; on the contrary, they were lovely, and they were all portraits, taken at different times, all at college or that cafe they frequented. wiseguy had done well with the photos; they were exceptionally flattering to her. there was one in which she was holding her hand to her mouth to cover a laugh. another showed her looking down at a book. all of the pictures were nicely composed; the backgrounds blurred substantially so that only she stood out.

sugar put a hand to her mouth; there was something in the way the pictures were taken that touched her... and in a way, it confirmed her previous suspicions: wiseguy was, indeed, in love with her. the captions, or lack thereof, also seemed to reinforce the notion. while the other photos had detailed descriptions citing place, time and other anecdotes, the ones of her had only her name: 'sugar'. nothing else. no technical descriptions or notes or points to ponder. almost as if wiseguy didn't, or couldn't, bring himself to say anything about her.

she felt touched. she closed her browser and glanced at her phone. she thought of calling up wiseguy. she grabbed her phone, put it back down, and picked it up again. she scrolled through her contacts list and found his name. she pressed dial, and quickly pressed end before the call got through. she pushed dial again. and quickly ended it again. she felt odd. what was she going to say?

she finally put the phone back down and just sat there at her desk for a few minutes. taking a deep breathe, she decided to keep her peace.

suddenly she smiled; a shy smile that made her face simply beautiful; she didn't actually know this, but that smile would probably have caused wiseguy's heart to skip a beat. sugar smiled, and a faint blush rose to her cheeks.

she whispered a name, and felt very wonderful saying it. she whispered 'wiseguy'.


December 2, 2007


the young lady looked at herself in the mirror; almost scrutinizing herself. she glanced approvingly at her own slim waist and hips, and stuck her chest out for a few seconds. she liked what she saw. but then she felt incredibly embarrassed about her own vanity and turned away. she was dressed in a simple t-shirt and 3/4 jeans. the t-shirt was a plain white v-neck on which she had drawn her own designs on. likewise, the cuffs of her jeans had pretty floral motifs sewn on.

it was only about 1030 on a sunday. she had just finished showering and dressing when she had been looking at the mirror. now she threw herself back on the bed. she grabbed a book, started to read, got distracted and turned on her laptop to play games.

after awhile she got bored of that as well. she sighed and yawned. her mobile phone buzzed and she glanced at it. a text message saying "can't make it tonight; i got a football match". she rolled her eyes and tossed the phone beside her. feeling incredibly bored, she just lay there on the bed for awhile doing nothing.

soon enough, she called her best friend and told her to be ready in 25 minutes, i'm picking you up we're going out for some window shopping. okay fine, said her best friend. she got up, grabbed her denim jacket and bag.. and oops, not to forget, her phone. she went down the stairs of her home, asked permission to use the car from her parents, who were watching television in the living room, got approval and went out.

as she drove, she thought of him. not her current squeeze(if it was a squeeze.. it's been rather staid lately, she sighed) but of the other guy. but first the invasive question: should she be thinking of him at all? it doesn't matter, she thought and dismissed the question. she thought of the other guy; he wasn't the guy all the girls wanted and all the boys wanted to be. but he had something in the way he talked, in the way he looked at people. it wasn't a bad look; but at the same time that look he gave sort of sent out the message that "i am deeper than you think". at least, that's what she secretly thought, anyway.

then again, maybe it was only her who saw her that way. why, she didn't know. most times, especially amongst the friends, he was laid back, funny, sarcastic and above all, witty when interacting with people. she thought of that day again when he had pulled his so called 'prank' on her, and the others had laughed it off and relapsed into general conversation. even she had laughed it off; but she noticed the way he had stolen glances at her. the way he turned his head around or shifted his eyes away when she caught him looking. it was enough to convince her it wasn't a prank after all. but she didn't understand yet how she was sure. and she had let it be for awhile.

the past few weeks after that 'prank' had almost slipped by in a blur. she had gone on her dates with arrows, her classes, her shopping sprees. she had done her coursework, her assignments, her revision. and still at the back of her mind he lingered.

wiseguy, she thought. ever joking, ever wise-cracking wiseguy. she thought of how his hair always looked as if he had just got out of bed, and that smile he does when only his upper left lip moves; almost a smirk. she thought about how his eyes looked sharp yet dreamy at the same time, no matter how weird that sounds. they had gotten to know each other through their playful banter and arguments. and they had gotten to know each other really well.

she suddenly felt sad when she realized she hasn't seen him much these past weeks. that sadness turned into an odd (for her) longing. i miss him, she thought.

she sighed again and turned the corner to her best friend's house. she honked the car horn and her best friend appeared at the door, motioning for her to wait, wait, i'm getting ready. she nodded as her friend left the doorway, probably to get a bag or a jacket (or both). her phone buzzed. it was arrows, her actual boyfriend.

"babes, u didnt reply my message earlier? just to say again sorry cant make it tonite."

she blew a strand of hair that fell on her face, and pushed her glasses up her nose. she replied a brief, curt "okay, its okay. have fun" and dropped her phone in a dashboard compartment. she drummed her fingers on the steering well while she waited, and soon her best friend came out and got into the car.

"hellooo... so where do u wanna go girl..?", asked the best friend.

she was quiet for awhile, and said:

"tingles, do you think wiseguy actually really loves me..?"

tingles looked dumbstruck, and shrugged awkwardly.

sugar looked at her best friend, and shrugged it off herself.

"nevermind. let's go to OU. dah lama tak jalan-jalan there..", sugar said, and tingles just agreed and turned on the radio.

but still, as she drove on, sugar thought of him.

she thought of wiseguy.