sugar goes online

sugar sat at her study desk, absently surfing the net on her pink vaio. saturday evening and she had nothing to do. she sighed. well, at least it's not really a good day to go out anyway, she thought. tingles was home sick nursing the flu, and the other girlfriends had prior engagements anyways. she had just gotten off the phone with arrows. he had some of his guys at home, watching, what else, football. sugar didn't like the way the phone call had gone.

"hey dearie.. whats up?", she had said.

"hello.. hey, i'm kinda occupied. the guys are here, you know", arrows said.

"i know.. i just thought i'd say hi.. can't a girl to that anymore?"

"of course, i didn't mean it that way. but maybe i'll give you a call later yeah sugar?"

she had paused and bit her lip. she wasn't really hurt, but she felt annoyed. and annoying. but she had dismissed the thought.

"okay, alright. say hi to the guys for me", she had finally said.

"alright, bye sugar..", arrows said curtly.

"arrows?"

"hm yeah?"

"... nothing.."

they then said their goodbyes. she had meant to say 'i love you' but had hesitated. that was a first. she wondered why.

isn't it obvious?, a voice at the back of her mind whispered.

sugar snapped her mind back to the present. she was looking at clothes at various online stores, wishing she had lots and lots of money to actually buy them instead of just looking. finally she quit that, and went downstairs for a snack. her mama was at the dining table, reading a Jane Austen novel.

"mama is there anything to eat?", sugar asked her mama, who worked as a HR manager at a 5-star hotel in Kuala Lumpur.

"eat eat eat. that's all you do. haih. lucky you never get fat. you're just like your papa, you know that?", her mama replied without taking her eyes off the novel. sugar's papa was a retired army major.

"heee.", sugar grinned and took a seat next to her mama. "you're reading Jane Austen again."

with her eyes still on the book, her mama smiled and replied, "i love Jane Austen. so let me be. go find yourself a snack. jangan kacau mama.."

sugar smiled and poked her mama at the sides, causing her to jump a little. sugar threw her head back and laughed. she went into the kitchen, and browsed the fridge. she made herself a crabstick sandwich, complete with salad and dressing, and also took out a pack of chocolate pudding. she made herself an iced tea and took all those upstairs to her room. mama shook her head, smiling , looking at the snack her one and only child had made.

"don't mess up your room..", mama called out as sugar reached the top of the stairs.

"no promises!", sugar playfully called back.

sugar brought her snacks to her study desk and ate it enthusiastically whilst watching an episode of 'Friends' she had on her laptop. after the crabstick sandwich she had the pudding; and finally she washed it all down with the iced tea and burped gently and softly against the back of her hand. she loved eating. she would probably have a big dinner tonight, even after an already sizeable sandwich. she didn't care.

she finished watching the show and quit her media player. she found herself bored again and opened her internet browser. she punched the keyboard and went straight to her social network site. she browsed through her friends' profiles, leaving messages and comments here and there. then she looked at her own profile, along with arrows' profile. it was somewhat depressing for her. she didn't really know why, although maybe she did but didn't want to admit it.

her primary picture was of her and arrows' side by side. it was taken a few months ago, when they had first started going out with each other. just a few months ago? she thought sadly. she switched her tab to arrows' profile. there wasn't a single picture of them together. it wasn't that important, she knew, but it somehow upset her. she sighed, not really caring anymore. she went back to her friends list. she clicked on wiseguy's profile.

it was minimalist, in plain black and white. wiseguy had put only one picture of himself; even then it was a profile view, with a camera held up to his face. sugar looked through the details. wiseguy didn't tell much; hobbies, favorite books and movies. that was all. she suddenly felt disappointed. perhaps she had expected more, knowing wiseguy to be quite talkative and funny(...although he has been quiet-ish recently).

she finally saw a link to a photography site and clicked on that. it was wiseguy's flickR page. he had some photosets; she browsed through the pictures. they were beautiful. one set was of plants and flowers; another showed various spots in KL taken at night. to her non-photographer's eyes, they all seemed incredibly professional. she clicked through the photo sets, and finally stumbled upon a few pictures that made her hold her breath.

the pictures were of her. it wasn't creepy or voyeuristic; on the contrary, they were lovely, and they were all portraits, taken at different times, all at college or that cafe they frequented. wiseguy had done well with the photos; they were exceptionally flattering to her. there was one in which she was holding her hand to her mouth to cover a laugh. another showed her looking down at a book. all of the pictures were nicely composed; the backgrounds blurred substantially so that only she stood out.

sugar put a hand to her mouth; there was something in the way the pictures were taken that touched her... and in a way, it confirmed her previous suspicions: wiseguy was, indeed, in love with her. the captions, or lack thereof, also seemed to reinforce the notion. while the other photos had detailed descriptions citing place, time and other anecdotes, the ones of her had only her name: 'sugar'. nothing else. no technical descriptions or notes or points to ponder. almost as if wiseguy didn't, or couldn't, bring himself to say anything about her.

she felt touched. she closed her browser and glanced at her phone. she thought of calling up wiseguy. she grabbed her phone, put it back down, and picked it up again. she scrolled through her contacts list and found his name. she pressed dial, and quickly pressed end before the call got through. she pushed dial again. and quickly ended it again. she felt odd. what was she going to say?

she finally put the phone back down and just sat there at her desk for a few minutes. taking a deep breathe, she decided to keep her peace.

suddenly she smiled; a shy smile that made her face simply beautiful; she didn't actually know this, but that smile would probably have caused wiseguy's heart to skip a beat. sugar smiled, and a faint blush rose to her cheeks.

she whispered a name, and felt very wonderful saying it. she whispered 'wiseguy'.

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