June 28, 2008


a loud thunderclap woke me up from my nap. as i sat up on the sofa i knocked over the mug of coffee i had had. it had already gone cold. i cursed to myself and went to the kitchen to grab a wet towel to wipe the spillage.

it was only half past ten in the morning. the rain had not subsided; in fact it seemed worse, with rolling thunder and flashes of lightning cracking the grey skies. it was pretty dim, making it seem as if the day was nearing dusk.

i sat back on the sofa, rubbing my eyes and pushing strands of hair that had fallen over my eyes backwards. i glanced around the interior of my apartment, and not for the first time, i find myself feeling isolated and lonely.

i live by myself. apart from occasional visits from siblings or relatives, this quiet apartment only plays host to a single occupant most times. and that would be me. still, i loved the apartment. i had decorated it simply but cozily.

it wasn't always like this, however. i remember a time when there was another voice, another shadow, and another presence within these now seemingly empty spaces. i remember not being the only one who walks within the confinement of these small walls.

that was when i was with you.

now the thought of it makes me sigh again.

remembering you causes me to remember a time when i was in love, and never questioned it. i never once thought about the truths and consequences, the 'simple complexity' of it. i simply took being in love as a gift, a wonderful twist of fate. i almost took it for granted. during those times i had with you, there was nothing else but our love. to me, at least.

looking back, i wonder what was it like to have seen myself from the outside. would i have seen the storm-clouds that were gathering, or the shining sun that was slowly but surely setting down on me.. on us..?

"i don't know", i said out-loud to myself. i shook off those thoughts in my head. outside, despite the rumble of thunder and the streaks of lightning, the rain was finally beginning to subside. i got up and walked back to the window, looking at the beautiful outline of the city of Kuala Lumpur.

i gazed outside.

somehow, i felt that my gaze was reaching you..

.. wherever you are.




nuraainaa said...

what is happening ni..


*pulls hair*

muhammad edwan shaharir said...

marah ke?

nuraainaa said...

takde la marah..terkejut.

kerana tidak menyangka mereka tidak bersama lagi?


Anonymous said...

apa dah jadi ni?


pinkgreen said...

huhu...sy mrh..;p ape da jadik nih?konpius2..

nurdini izni said...

oh myy.. what happened? :/