November 4, 2007

After A Prequel, Before Beach

a month before marriage, and thus, 'beach'

i looked at you across the table as you hungrily tucked into your dinner of tagliatelle with carbonara sauce. i was distracted to the point that my own dinner (beef lasagna with mushrooms) was pretty much untouched in front of me. you were enjoying your dinner so much that you only noticed me looking at you after a few more forkfuls of your pasta.

"hey", you said.

"hey", i said and smiled.

"you haven't touched your dinner sayang. are you alright?"

"haha. yeah, yeah i am. i was watching you eat."

"oh? and why were you doing that..?"

"just because", i grinned and finally began to eat my dinner. we were in a nice italian restaurant in Damansara. you made a stabbing gesture with your fork.

"eee. cucuk mata nanti then you know.." you said playfully. you giggled that little giggle i loved so much and turned the majority of your attention back to the tagliatelle carbonara, pausing only to take sips of iced lemon tea.

eventually we finished our dinner and just sat there, relaxing; we were dining al fresco at the restaurant, our table beneath an awning. the restaurant was situated in a nice suburb, far enough not to be too busy. the night was beautiful; it had just rained a couple of hours back, so the skies were clear and the air cool. the wet pavement glistened beneath the shine of streetlights.

"would you wanna have some dessert sayang..?", i asked. "because i'm definitely having some.."

you bit your lower tongue. you were clearly in a romantic mood tonight, and i could feel your feet brushing my ankles. you gave out an exasperated laugh.

"i just wanna have you, boleh tak..?", you said.

i kept on looking at the menu. "well, that has to come after i have my dessert. i'm having tiramisu. are you sure you just want me after this? you do have to wait ok?", i said. you kicked me in the shin, and i had to laugh despite the kick hitting the spot. it really hurt.

"oh did it hurt? i'm sorry..~" you grimaced and grabbed my hands. i just nodded ok, ok and squeezed your hands in mine. you made a sad face but burst into laughter instead. i motioned to a waiter and ordered my dessert. you decided you wanted to share the tiramisu with me. when the cake came, the waiter set it in the middle of our table along with two little dessert forks. we shared the cake, spooning (or is it forking? haha) each other.

"you do love sweet things do you?" i said as we finished up the dessert.

"yes. why do you think i love you?", you said.

"because i'm incredibly handsome and charming?"

you rolled your eyes playfully. "it's because you're sweet; and i love sweet things, like you said!"

i wiped my mouth with a napkin.

"so", i said. "is that all? i'm sweet?", i grinned.

you squinted your eyes, but you were still rubbing my ankles with your feet. suddenly for some reason you put a hand to your face and blushed; you were also smiling. i looked at you, puzzled, but for some reason comforted.

"i love you because you've given me everything i've ever wanted..", you sighed. we shared a moment of silence. my fingers toyed with your delicate ones. the skin of your hands felt silky smooth.

"wiseguy..", you said. "when was it that you realized you were in love with me?"

i smiled a little. "why?"

"you never really told me when was that. in fact so far in this past 4 years, you've never really told me precisely when it happened.."

i continued to play with your fingers whilst i asked you if you really wanted to know when it was. you nodded hopefully; your shining eyes never diverting their gaze into mine. i took a deep breathe; it wasn't much of a story, but i felt like i needed it.

"it was about a month or two to the date i first started to like you.." i said. you nodded gently.

"but..i'm sorry to say this, at first i thought you were really irritating, and that the reason we hung out together was because we had mutual friends"

"i know! haha", you laughed. "you used to tease me; it wasn't my fault i'm smart and sassy okay"

i smiled. "exactly. i was so irritated that you were more of a smarty pants that i was. i know i was the one who started calling you sugar because you always seemed to be munching on something sweet.."

"and i started calling you wiseguy because you always had this snide comments about me", you said, your eyes reminiscing. i gently squeezed your hands.

"well anyway..i guess you were so irritatingly smart and sassy, in the end i was charmed.. the fact that you're physically smoking hot was the cherry on top of the cake.." i said.

"so i began to like you, and day by day i'd be thinking of you more often. i think at this point i kinda slowed down on the wise guy remarks and comments.." i said, and you nodded your agreement to the memory. your eyes beckoned me to continue, so i did.

"it finally came to a point when i'd be quieter around you, and you started being quieter around me. it only really hit me, though, when one day i woke up in my room and felt this sudden pang of hurt as i thought of you...

"you were this beautiful, smart and just plainly amazing girl. i knew a lot of guys at college wanted you to be their girlfriend.. while i thought i had damaged my chances because of our previous smartpants attitude towards each other..

"so in part because i felt demoralized by myself, i began to act different around you i guess. so one day i called up a best friend and told her 'i think i love sugar'. she told me to go for you, haha.. but she also asked how did i know i loved you", i paused a moment.

you leaned forward at the table. "so how did you know sayang..?" your voice was calm, but in your eyes held an eagerness. again i took a breathe before answering.

"i think i told you that night 4 years ago, at the cafe.... but i'll tell you again: it was when it hurt to think of you; or to even hear your name out loud. it hurt here", i said and pointed to my heart. "and when you started to avoid me, it hurt a lot more..

"but now here i am talking to you; and we're gonna get hitched next month.. so i guess i didn't do too bad huh?" i smiled and you laughed. that laugh made me fall in love with you all over again.

"i remember you telling me that..", you said. "and i remember being afraid, that's why i just.. ran off"

"i know. haha. you almost killed me there and then..", i said.

"it was because i was already in love with you too at the time. so you could say i was charmed by your 'wisdom', haha.. and .when you suddenly became quiet, i missed you. and i began to avoid you because.." you paused.


"because i seriously thought you didn't like me. that i drove you off... i was literally shocked when you came up to me and told me how you really felt..and at the same time, past hurts caught up with me. but i was dying to love you at the time..i guess i just needed some moments to take it in, you know?"

"eheh.. i know.." i smiled at you and mouthed the words 'i love you' in silence. you blushed again, and again we shared a comfortable silence between us.

"i can't believe we're actually getting married next month kan sayang..?", you said.

"yuppo. this is sooo life changing, haha. but i'm honestly excited", i said.

"reaaally? haha", you crinkled your nose.

"haha. of course. now i'll have you by my side 24/7.."

"hee. sukanya dia.. but i'm excited as well sayang.."

we shared a meaningful look at each other, a thousand swirling emotions in our eyes.

"you know you're the love of my life sayang.." i said with my head down. this was getting a bit emotional for me.

"i know.. i'm so happy this is happening wiseguy..", you said. and you were beginning to choke up as well.

"me too.. and it's only a month away.."

"a month away to the wedding..?", you asked, smiling.

"nopes.. not just that", i said, and looked at you straight in the eyes.

"a month away to the rest of our lives.."

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